89. A Girl In Every Port (1928)

Oh boy, oh boy. 

I watched this film because according to the credits my dearest Gladys Brockwell was in the movie but in the end this turned out to be like Himmelskibet: Nils Asther was supposedly in it, yet I DID NOT SPOT HIM. 

This makes me feel like a lousy fan, I mean... I thought I'd never fail to spot my dearest star onscreen but apparently I do. Please accept my apologies, Saint Brockwell. I tried.

Aside from supposedly featuring Gladys B., I was also drawn into this one by the fact that Louise Brooks is in it. I can't really even begin to describe how I feel about Louise. To me she is, even today, MODERN. She looks like she could be from the year 5000. She's like... Miss Future. Lively, witty, kooky, fantastic, unreal. 

I've been ignoring her films in this blog for way too long.

 Meet Victor McLaglen (42), who plays Spike Madden, a sailor who literally has a girl in every port. He looked like a cross between Jack LaLanne , Neal Cassady and my abusive grandfather. It's because of the latter that I had a hard time watching this. 

Don't get me wrong, I think Mr McLaglen was a good actor but to have him remind me of an atrocious person in my personal life was unpleasant.

 Uh oh... she's got kids. 

NEXT ONE!

 Disappointed with the competition, Spike moves onto the next port and gal.

(but do pay attention to the windmill. It's beautiful and reminds me of the ones I saw in Amsterdam years ago.)

 I think this girl might have been played by Maria Alba, but I'm not sure. 

Anyway, she was pretty foxy.

 Her beau wasn't that happy about the rekindled romance 

 Here's Spike doing something he seems to like just as much as he loves womanizing; having a bar fight

 He ends up in the slammer and realizes he's been hit by his arch enemy, the dude who's been branding all of his dames. 

That guy is called... Salami. 

Yes, for real.

 Salami (Robert Armstrong, 38)

 After some cheesy male bonding the two become best pals

 And so it goes, more dames

 This one was the best bit of the film in my opinion. Spike and Salami want to visit a girl that Spike's seen before but since it's been a while, that lady has now given birth to a baby.

 Salami wonders if the kid is Spike's

 this kid was heartbreaking!

 so Spike & Salami feel bad for the kid and leave him + his mother  a deal of money. 

They're not all that bad after all

 having done some sailing, Spike decides it's time to settle down

 he stops by in France, goes to see a carnival 

 Loooouise... 

*swoons*

 She was 22ish at the time

 oh, he don't mind... would you?

 Spike takes sweet Miss Godiva out for a stroll and asks about her future plans

 Next up Spike wants to introduce Godiva to Salami

 dun dun dun... 

 oh geez

this spells trouble

 so you see?

 she's only in it for the money

 but Spike's got no idea

Whenever Godiva gets a chance to snuggle up next to Salami behind Spike's back, she does so. 

He's not into it, though

 ...o-kay

 Salami storms off to a bar and meanwhile Spike comes over

 he realizes something fishy is going on

 so, he's off to find Salami to kick his ass

 they get into a bit of a scuffle but in the end Spike seems to have some "deep feelings" towards his pal and all is good again

***

Directed by Howard Hawks